I came across Kay’s Leukemia Blog yesterday that a family had been keeping about their little girl’s progress. There was one last post. Kay, their beautiful 9 year-old daughter died from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL).

She first contracted it when she was 22 months old.

I’m 61 years old and have CLL – a much milder form of leukemia.

So why her? Why a child who had so many years ahead of her? And why ALL?

My Leuk has many brothers a lot meaner than him.  “Acute” versions are so deadly. So threatening.

Why must his more aggressive brothers attack children? Where’s the sense in it?

Why does God allow such a thing. Or maybe the real question should be is there a God at all?

Are we just dust in the wind, our lives blown away by an unknowing, unthinking gale?

So why this little girl? The standard answer is that God has his plan and we can’t always understand it. He is so Omnipotent, so All-knowing, that we must believe He knows what He is doing. There are things we can’t possibly understand so we must have faith in Him.

Or are we just letting Him off the hook with all that? Do we dare ask why, and in doing so lose our faith, our beliefs? It is said that living without God is like a ship without a rudder; we are blown by the wind with no ability to steer against it.

Maybe there never was a rudder. Maybe the wind is blowing us haphazardly and we just keep trimming the sails thinking He is guiding us; when all the while only the wind determines our course.

Where is He in all this? Where was He for little Kay?

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4 thoughts on “Kay

  1. All I can say is God is with her and her parents. I’ve given up the idea that God is all powerful. As Richard Rohr writes in his new book “Immortal Diamond,” God is the great “allower”–giving us the freedom to do whatever, which also means environmentally, etc., which I believe is the reason that cancer and auto-immune diseases keep increasing. I can be pretty flakey about this, but my faith has been shaped by asking “who is with me?” and not “why?” In the end, all will be well, which doesn’t help during the pain and agony. I think it’s important to wrestle with the questions you ask, but I’m not sure that there are any easy answers. Thanks for letting me ramble on, Jim.

    • Thanks, Jan. Your weren’t rambling. I appreciated your comment. There are no easy answers only easy questions.

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