A friend passed away today. She didn’t have leukemia but had a multitude of other heath problems. Though I wasn’t close to her it is still hard to lose someone, especially when she is younger than you. Feels a bit ominous.

But I’m still kicking. It is a sunny autumn day outside my window. Soon I’ll be stepping out into the fresh air and going to help my son-in-law put a floor in his new house.

Whatever time I have it is so good to be alive. I’m not bed ridden yet and hope to never be but either way I’ll always appreciate my family and the life I’ve been given.

I’ve done some stupid things in the past. There are regrets. Sometimes they haunt me. But overall I am happy and loved.

That’s what matters.

It’s not who we were but what we’ve become that matters. I’m trying to keep my focus on the now and on moving forward. And, as far as Leuk goes, he’s not getting me down.

My friend’s death has reminded me to grab life while I have it. Life, not Leuk, is my focus.

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Vision Christian Band

I don’t do a lot of advertising on this blog site but I’ve decided to promote two CDs. I used to play in a Christian band called Vision. We played nearly all of the prisons around Washington State as well as churches and a homeless shelter. We had a blast and it was one of the best experiences of my life.

The songs are direct, lively, and honest. They are not worship songs or boring hymns. They are very upbeat and about real life — often inspired by our own experiences.

During that time we cut two CDs and still have some available. If you’d like to buy a CD or even just a single song you can click on the links at the bottom of the side bar to the right. Or, click these links: Secret Agent, or Trust in the Lord to see prices, sample songs, and buy the albums or just single tracts.

Part of the sales will go to supporting this blog site. You can sample some of the songs before buying. Be sure to check out the reviews too.

And, btw, thanks to all my long-time readers. It’s been a real blessing to share thoughts with fellow Leuk Fighters.

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Wow. Have you ever “OD’d” on drugs? I have a medication I take for a condition unrelated to my leukemia. I normally take one pill in the morning and one in the evening. I’m usually very careful about that but last weekend I was visiting my son and took a pill in the morning forgetting that I had taken one earlier.

The dizzies set in and I was nauseous. Had I been able to go to bed I probably could have ridden the thing out fine, but we were scheduled to drive home that day. So, I had to let my wife drive while I sat in the back, bowl in hand, and tried not to “toss my cookies” as my Mom used to say.

I tried to keep my eyes shut so the effects of the car’s motion would be lessened. However, since I usually drive that route home, my wife kept asking me to look out and see if she was in the correct lane and where to turn next.

Long story short, the cookies got tossed.

It was a miserable 100 mile drive but I somehow survived.

So, I’m thinking it is probably time to start using a pill box.

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I tried being normalWhat do we mean when we think of some people as being ‘normal’? Those of us who have a disease, such as this “glorious” leukemia, think of healthy people as ‘normal’. We say things like, “God it would be nice to be normal again.” Or, “I used to have a normal life.”

When I had major financial difficulties I remember wishing I had a normal life like before.

But when my financial situation changed for the better – not much cash but very little debt, I didn’t suddenly become ‘normal’. In fact, looking back I realized I never have been normal.

Now with Leuk in my life you could say I’m not as normal as other people. Yeah. True. But so what?

I don’t think there really is a ‘normal’, or if there is I sure as heck don’t want to be it.

I have talents that not everyone has – writing, photography, drumming (although I am lousy at it, I played in a band for eight years), scuba diving, sailing, and wasting a great deal of time watching movies. Well, okay, a really LOT of us do that last one.

I don’t have talents in other areas. I’m a terrible singer. No, I mean really terrible (but I still belt songs out in the shower). If I built a house it would fall over in a light wind. I don’t climb mountains (gravity is a bitch). When I paint, if ever, I have to call it Abstract Art. I mean, REALLY abstract; like geez-that-was-a-waste-of-paint type abstract. And I hate broccoli, asparagus, brussels sprouts, Indian food, and rap music.

Speaking of talents, I apparently have a good one for getting leukemia. I’m a real expert at that.

These talents, and lack there of, are normal for me but not for the next guy. In order for there to be ‘normal’ people there has to be a lot of folks with the exact talents doing exactly the same thing. I don’t know about snow flakes, but I’m sure that none of the seven billion people on this planet are perfectly alike. And that goes for twins too.

There is not a Normal Club out there. Perhaps there should be an NA (Normalaholics Anonymous) though for people who actually think they are normal.

So I suggest we all give up on this phony ‘Normal’ psychosis and aim for being great instead.

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Painting house

Hi Guys.  Yesterday I was painting my house. (I hate painting.) I tripped on a dead rose bush stump and fell, banging my head. I swore like a trucker (under my breath since my grandkids were there). The ensuing headache and nausea sent me to bed for an hour.

Not sure why I’m telling you this. I guess I just felt like complaining to someone, so feel free to ignore that.

Anyway, I got back up and did more painting. We’re painting our little home red. We will be putting down three coats. Yesterday we did the primer and some of the first coat of red. Since it was Sunday I had lots of help from family members. This week I’ll be flying solo but am looking forward to finally getting the “fun” job done.

Of course, as some of you can relate, I get tired and can’t put in a full day but that’s alright. Our house is small enough that a week gives me plenty of time.

Leuk may be slowing me down a little but not much. I am lucky that I can still function at a somewhat normal level.

I think I’ll do a post tomorrow on just what the heck ‘normal’ really means. See you then.

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