Dogs vs. Cats
Well, this ones about cats and dogs. Specifically why I think dogs are the best.
There’s an old joke that goes like this: a dog looks at his owner and says, “he feeds me, shelters me, and loves me… he must be God.” A cat looks at his owner and says “he feeds me, shelters me, and loves me… I must be God.”
When you come home your dog acts like you’ve been gone a week. His ears perk up and he wags his tail so fast you think it might fall off. It’s like your daily arrival home is the major event in his life: “Master, master, you’re home! I’ve missed you so much. Where have you been? I love you, I love you, I love you. Oh, I hope you’ll pat my head and feed me now. You’re the best!”
You come home to your cat and it’s like, “So where the hell have you been? If you think I’m jumping out of this chair and coming over there you’re sadly mistaken. I couldn’t care less that you’ve finally managed to drag your fat ass home. Okay, I guess I’ll rub up against your leg but I only put on this act to get you to feed me. Feed my now or I’ll scratch you. Humans are so stupid and boring.”
And just try calling your cat. You say, “Here kitty kitty,” the cat says, “Let’s see, I can probably fit you in on Thursday, but today you’re out’a luck.”
Call your dog and he comes running. You whistle and call, “here boy, here boy” and he bounds over. “Oh my god, he’s calling me! My master actually wants to talk to me. Oh, I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful owner. Pant, pant, pant… I’m coming! I love you, I love you, I love you!”
Now admit it. You know this is all true.
I bet the first word that comes to your mind when I say ‘dog’ is “Loyal”.
The first word for cat? … “Snob”.
Sorry cat owners, but from my perspective dogs really are man’s best friend. Cats? Well you don’t really own them… they own you.