I’ve been considering why it is I’m not more worried about my leukemia than I am. Sure, I wish Leuk had never walked through my door, but somehow he’s only in the back of my mind and not in front. He’s always there though. I guess I’m just not focusing on him.

There are others I know who are way worse off. One is near death right now with a huge inoperable tumor that keeps growing. She will be gone within weeks.

She’s one of the good ones. It makes you wonder why this is happening to her. Why people must suffer when they die. For that matter, why are so many taken so young?

We can understand the Who, What, When, and Where, but the Why is unanswerable. Science can find the cause… but that’s not the Why I’m talking about. It’s an answer only God has, and for now the Big Cheese isn’t talking.

So we wait, wonder why, and then continue with our lives. My friend will pass on, we will be sad, have a funeral for her, and then move on in blind imperviousness.

Like Paul Simon sings: “And so I continue to continue to pretend, my life will never end, and flowers never bend with the rainfall.”

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