I worked out in the gym last Friday. I’m lucky that my leukemia still lets me do that. Admittedly I didn’t put in as much time as I might otherwise have. I’m probably not going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger anytime soon, but it was a good workout.

I did some time on the machines, then some free weights, and finally the treadmill. It felt good to get back to an exercise routine.

I’m trying to keep in mind that there is still a lot I can do besides sitting on my butt watching NetFlix. (Well, I still do that but only after I’ve done something healthy!)

I think it’s possible to live life with Leuk more positively if we can keep our minds and our bodies active. For me, keeping my body moving helps my attitude remain positive. The last several weeks I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I managed to drive my wife to work and keep the house clean but, with a few exceptions, the rest of the day was not very productive. I felt tired and very unmotivated.

I can’t tell you that all your days will be sunshine and rainbows. Many of you know that even better than I do. The important thing is that we find ways to pull ourselves out of dark moments that sometimes beset us. Leuk has moved in. He’s is a part of our lives now. That doesn’t mean we just give up.

Some of you cannot go to the gym. Some, I’m sorry to say, have to live a less active life because he is making you just too tired. If this is you please do not feel guilty about not being able to be more active or able to help out around the house. Do what you can. Once you start doing whatever you are able to you will be surprised at how it improves your look on life.

Leuk is an S.O.B. No doubt about that. He may have a hold on our bodies, but not our minds. We are in control of our thoughts.

So, for now, I’m thinking life is pretty good.

Car stuck in the snow

Not feeling too hot today but I’m not letting it get me down. The snow is wet and thick outside. It’s pretty and I’m enjoying it because I don’t have to go anywhere. Still, it will be nice to have February done. Not that I’m rushing it. Each day is precious. Even snowy ones.

I think it is a choice whether we feel up or down. So much of who we are and how we feel about things is in our heads. I hope I remember that if the day comes when Leuk gets worse.

Anyway, for now, and hopefully for years to come, Leuk and I are doing okay. I hope this Winter sees you all finding blessings in your lives. Leukemia is definitely not a blessing, but the really important things in your life are; family, friends, and even the snow.

Enjoy what’s left of Winter, Spring is on its way.

Am I the only one that isn’t freaking out about Trump? I didn’t vote for the guy but geez, give him a chance. I’ll be the first to protest if he screws up but all this posturing won’t mean anything.

Maybe it’s my leukemia that gives me this perspective but I really don’t think all this panic is worth it. And the protests planned for Trumps inauguration… what’s that all about. He’s the President for god sake. Show some respect. I don’t recall anyone protesting or rioting any of the times that Democrats took the office.

Chill out people. Take it from me and Leuk, life is way too precious to be letting worry and fear take hold of you. Sure I’m worried about what a Trump presidency will be like but I’m not letting it ruin my days on this planet.

For crying out load, give the guy a chance before you start crying out loud.

I said something in yesterday’s post that’s been bothering me. I brought up the subject of telling a family member or friend something that needs saying.

It may be the case that you can’t speak to them. Maybe that person passed away before you could tell him what needed saying. Maybe he’s still around but refuses to speak to you. If it turns out that, for whatever reason, you don’t have the chance to reconnect don’t let regret take you over. It is possible to love someone even if they can’t return it.

The term “closure” is bantered around a lot these days. I’m not sure who dreamed it up or even what it means exactly. I suppose it means finishing unfinished business or making things right. But the implication is it will be a disaster if you don’t “get closure.”

Well that’s a lousy philosophy. It is, of course, the best thing when you can resolve an issue or heal old wounds as they say. But don’t pin your hopes on doing so. If closure doesn’t happen you need to make a choice. Is that going to take you down or can you find that closure within your heart and let go of the pain?

I know a little about this subject. My father divorced us when I was a little boy. I never saw him again. He died when I was 17. I learned that as his death drew near he had asked to see me but due to a bad decision by others I wasn’t told until he was gone. How’s that one for no “closure”?

Now, I was very lucky to be raised by an adoptive dad who was loyal to the bone. So that helped a lot. But I never got to hear the sound of my bio father’s voice. I never got to tell him I forgave him. Yes, that hurt. It still does a bit. Watching movies that end with a father/son reconciliation still make my eyes water. But I worked through it. That lack of “closure” wasn’t a disaster. I didn’t crumble into a pile of crushed hopes and everlasting despair. The simple truth is I moved on.

Life can be shitty at times. Not every day is full of roses and rainbows. In fact, I believe it is the hard days that build our character.

So if someone tells you they are sorry you didn’t get closure on some issue, thank them for their concern but don’t take it to heart. Not all circles get closed. Not every hole is filled. Life isn’t about loss, it’s about how you handle it.

I say a lot in this blog about not giving in to Leuk. The truth is we shouldn’t give in to despair from any source. There’s no time for it. It ain’t worth it.

Guard your heart. Do all you can to love others but when life turns bad keep your heart above shit level.

Hey. That might make a great country song title.

Yesterday I nearly got plowed into by a car. I was pulling a utility trailer with a heavy load and turned left. The car came out of nowhere. He hit his brakes and I hit mine. We stopped with only a few feet between us. No fender bender, just frayed nerves.

Even though no one was hurt, it reminded me how unpredictable our fates are. When you have leukemia it is easy to assume Leuk will cause your demise. And seeing as he’s a terminal kind of guy it is reasonable to think so.

But nothing is certain. I could be walking along, complaining to myself about how tired my leukemia is making me, wondering how bad it’s going to get and when I’ll kick the bucket then suddenly get flattened by a falling piano. Which reminds me of a pun:

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

But I digress.

Point being, despite our leukemia, there are healthy people who will die before us. Death is not an exclusive club. Everyone is headed there. So we shouldn’t waste the time we have worrying about when or how we’ll checkout. Let’s live anticipating life, not fearing death.

Like Red Skelton said, “Don’t take life too seriously. No one gets out of it alive.”