lancerToday I bought a boat. My son and I met in Olympia to check it out. That’s 170 miles one way – a loooong drive to look at something you might not want. But it all panned out. The trip was worth it.

It’s a 25′ Lancer sailboat in good shape. Very dry and clean.

It came with a trailer so I can haul it home if I rent a truck. But we are considering sailing it up from Olympia. It would be a memorable two day trip with my son.

But even if we don’t do this trip, we are planning on doing some sailing together this summer around the northern Puget Sound islands.

I’m also hoping to put some sailing time in with my wife, daughter and son-in-law.

I wasn’t going to buy it, but my wife said it’s time we stop waiting for such things. She’s right. Putting things off with Leuk around is probably a poor strategy.

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Like it says on my ‘About’ page, sometimes I just do writing that has nothing to do with Leuk. So here’s a few haikus. The last one is my favorite.

eyes staring nowhere
just empty languishing thoughts
sad soliloquies

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some real plants feel fake
and some counterfeit look real
eyes lie and touch fools

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time ticks terribly
a lifetime slithers quickly
what will I become

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no paper and ink
only digital pixels
to wrap my words in

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clouds look imposing
but even the biggest fade
so what then of me?

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wind blows at my back
sails spread out port and starboard
fast quiet sailing

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trees bent by the wind
like old men all humped over
still give sparrows rest

_______

fried frog legs on ice
smoked salmon served with shelled shrimp
a vegan throws up

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Yesterday was a good day. Friends from our old band, Vision, got together and jammed.

For eight years we played prisons around our state. We were a Christian band but didn’t play standard worship songs. Instead we wrote songs about real life. It was a great eight years.

Nothing picks you up quite like old friends reuniting. Whether our band every plays again is iffy, but friends are always solid.

Thanks guys and gals. It was good to be together again.

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Other than a little bit of work with my part-time (well, very part-time) business, I don’t really have a ‘real’ job right now. I guess the tiredness and dizziness are making me hold back a bit. Not sure.

We’re doing alright financially because our debt is gone and I am enjoying this time, but I don’t feel the need, or don’t have the confidence, to work for someone else. I prefer the freedom of owning my own business.

But lately I haven’t had the umph or even desire to pursue more work than I’m doing right now.  Has our debt-free situation made me lackadaisical? Has Leuk made me too tired? Or am I just too comfortable?

I’m not really complaining. I do find lots to do during each day. I just sometimes feel like my purpose is gone. It might just be a guy thing, but there is a certain amount of identity lost when not working.

All my married life my wife has tried to convince me that my identity is more than my job. It’s family. It’s being a dad and now a grandpa. My kids and grandkids are my real accomplishments, my real purpose.

I’m just now, after all these years, beginning to understand that.

I am so proud of my daughter and son. They have accomplished so much. And their kids (my grandchildren) are awesome.

When my boys run up to me all excited about seeing their Afi, I feel like there’s nothing else in the world I should be doing.

And when I hold my son’s baby, my heart is warmed; I’m saturated in love. There in my arms is a bit of my legacy all wrapped up in a little squirming boy.

I guess I’m in that strange transition from worker to retiree. In an odd way, it feels too soon and yet it feels just right.

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Today, a couple of hours ago, two bombs went off at the Boston Marathon finish line. Later, according to officials, a third explosion happened at the Kennedy Library (about 5 miles away). News reports say some of the spectators at the marathon died, others lost limbs and children suffered burns.

It’s too soon to know more details. News keeps coming in from the media, some of it confirmed some of it not.

At this point no one is saying it was a terrorist attack, but I’m thinking it was.

Those of us with terminal diseases sometimes get wrapped up in the dangers of living with, and possibly dying from, leukemia. But events like today’s shake us out of our own self indulgence and wake us up to the reality that no one knows how his own demise will occur.

One of my blogs some time back talked about a theater shooting and how a man, enjoying the movie, died just because he was in the wrong seat where a stray bullet found him. This race was no different, except on a larger scale.

People were celebrating this iconic event – the Boston Marathon. Spectators at the marathon’s 117th anniversary run were cheering the runners on. Families were shouting out encouragement to their brother, or sister, or mother, or father – encouraging them to finish the race. The crowd’s excitement was palpable. But in an instant the elation turned to panic, injury, and death.

Leuk and I are listening to the news knowing that perfectly healthy people are dead or injured. Yet here I am under a warm sun and blue sky. My heart is beating. I’m breathing in fresh air.

Death, it seems, is fickle. He’s not concerned with our health. He’s not on a schedule. He seldom does the expected.

I think, at least for today, I’m going to forget my leukemia. Leuk may invade my thoughts tomorrow, but today, in the shadow of Death’s visit to Boston, I’m going to celebrate life.

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